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Nov. 26th, 2010

Writer's Block: Cold turkey

Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? If so, how does your celebration vary from traditional holiday rituals?

tsk. NO, because I am from the Philippines. But happy thanksgiving to America. :)

Nov. 9th, 2010

The aftermath

Life's been surprising me a lot. A series of disappointments i.e. and its totally vigorously driving me out of my consious mind. These happenings I can no longer fathom. All I'm praying was to live a purpose-driven life. But as these things starting to never ceasing to occur, life's been leading me down to my own Pandemonium. Self-pity. Am I not worthy enough? To enjoy, to at least appreciate the aftermath of the choices I made. Since little by little, I'm beggining to accept the failures, the things I did that I can never undo. Instead, I can make something right out of it, out of everything that has been wrongly done. Life's been cruel and there's nothing, no one to be put to blame but I, myself alone. After all, I wasn't I thought fully prepared to face the consequences that were coming along the way.

Three years has gone so fast, still I couldn't release and overcome the very path I chose to follow. Life is a series of Yes or NO. Its either you give in, or you go against. Mine was a Yes, to the temptation which explains why I am now having all I considered the adversaries in life. I was crestfallen. Though from time to time, I remind myself to look instead at the bright side and focus on the bigger picture. My sweetest downfall. My family.They are reason why I'm, after all the discouragements, not giving up. God blessed me to have them. Who knows? these adversaries, could not be adversaries at all. After all, these are just fragments. It is not yet the end of the story. Whether it's curse or a blessing. No one knows, only God knows.

It has always been said,

When you are at your downest, reach up with faith, reach in with hope, and reach out with love. Then I shall rise above.



Nov. 8th, 2010


Like i didn't see this coming.

I was more than willing to save it. I guess I made a mistake of rationalizing, because you are totally changed. I gave you the benifit of the doubt. I did want to try to understand, hoping I could patch things between the two of us so everything would be arranged back to how it was, I cannot say originally but recently before this. Unfathomable. What have I done? I have been struggling to recall some specific thing happened as a result of why you are avoiding me now. I didn't have any idea nor can remember a single mistake I've committed. Enlighten me.

I supposed I got tired. Exhausted of thinking why do we need to part ways this way. Ending up the relationship this hard way, which is not so healthy at all. Yes I am emotionally disturbed. I was outraged by your sudden attitude, the annoying part was you were hitting on me on your recent posts, shoutouts. It pained me, trust me. You could have won the battle but you didn't because you chose to lose me. I rather would have not. I believe times not running out yet. Though, i seemed to be aggravated, i still hope we could reconcile.

Friends indeed come and go. A few stays though, I wish you are one of them.

You might wanna laugh at this post. But I am badly serious.



Oct. 29th, 2010

(no subject)

What is the worst insult you've ever received from someone? Were you able to forgive them?

God forgives so what gives me the right not to do the same. What hurts is when each time i remember the pain of the insult, all i can do is just to forgive again. I am bound to be hurt and to forgive over and over again It was one of the worst i think i can never forget in my entire life. She called me ambitious, but in a negative way. It was a blow that deeply inflicted a wound in my heart and in my soul. Knowing what i have poured out already, everything, for her son and grand child. Was I never good enough? I wish of one thing, that i could prove her wrong.

Bitterness. Yes I am, I am fully aware of it. After all, it is the only thing that's hindering me from soaring back. I wish to take it away, to erase all the things that has happened which caused me to become bitter. I know I have the daughter who could at least eliminate the pain, the struggle but yet, i still find myself unhappy. I am bitter with life, with how, when, and where its taking me and family. God, I know doesn't want me to convince anything to anyone but HIM. I pray that I would obey him this time. After all, He knows how disobedient have I been.

Oct. 23rd, 2010

Writer's Block: One door closes, another one opens

Have you ever closed the door on an opportunity or a relationship in order to open another door, only to realize you made the wrong choice?

Closing a door on a relationship to open another, I admit i did. I don't mean to be misunderstood by saying, I regretted when it happened. I am happy with my life right now to be totally honest, notwithstanding. It was my choice and even before it happened, I knew that i have to face some consequences, difficult consequences not to mention, which i am in fact by the way. I lost a lot. I lost some friends, I lost revenue, I lost the happiness of singing for a great purpose. I lost a church, my church. That one hurt me a lot.

But I also learned so much about life. I learned to become a woman, a mother, a wife. I went through a lot of difficulty. I've come to face the reality of the mistakes I did. It was hard, it was tough, with no one to turn to but God. I learned to play the game. Maybe it was a wrong choice. But looking at how strong and courageous I have become after all the hardships, made me realize, it wasn't a wrong choice after all. :)

Oct. 16th, 2010


I'm trying to get the hang of this thoughtfulness appreciation and affection showing thing. Its HARD.

Oct. 12th, 2010

Writer's Block: Do you want to know a secret?

How do you think personal relationships would change if people could read minds?

It would really create a very chaotic world. Imagine if the person found out how much you hate her and vice versa. Good Luck-- thats all i can say.

Sep. 27th, 2010

Writer's Block: One for the bucket list

What is something you've always wanted to do, but haven't yet done?

There are actually a lot. Some I have already given up, for I know I can never have it nor do it. It's like reaching for the stars I can never reach.

Setting aside my very dream, for I have been out from my comfort zone for quiet a while already, one thing I really want to do is to pay off all my debts, to be free from worries, because its badly killing me, slowly tearing me down, visibly destroying both my outer and inner being. Sad to say but yes, including my soul. Apparently, I am ruined! By my own mistakes, my own choices of happiness.

Self- pity, here we go again. I am so done with you. You help me nothing.

Looking at the bright side, these mistakes help me a lot, it taught me great lessons in life. To do this and not to do that. A lot!! But I still continue to fail. I have to stop making more mistakes. I am no longer a teenager. I am an adult, married, a mother.

All i need is YOU, to guide, to drive the wheels, to take over, for this life?, this belongs to you. I am so tired with MYSELF!! I need YOU.

Sep. 16th, 2010

What are the qualifications for the Barangay Councilor position?

Well, he must be 18 years old and above, a Filipino Citizen. He must be pot-bellied, well known drunkard and sabungero in the neighborhood who makes an utter fool of himself when wasted. It does not take much to qualify to become a barangay councilor. So lets spare ourselves from headaches and just take a look at our Barangay hall, chances are, those alcoholics hanging around and making tagay is our barangay councilor.

Writer's Block: Redo

If there was something you could change about your past, what would it be?


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